I posted this as a response to marys post here. I liked it so much I'm putting it here for the rest of you.
Social skill is most definatly a SKILL. I think it can be learned. one example of this is etiquite [sp?]. this can be learned. it is one suggestion for proper public methods. I don't think this exists anymore, I Just use it as an example.
in the same sense, social skills can be learned. people that are natural leaders have more attempts to hone this skill and their failure is hidden in the early depths of childhood instead of the visible spectrum of adulthood.
people that are NOT leaders even when given attempts to hone their social skills usually pass up the opportuinity because they are to intravert. social skill takes a certain boldness.. and last of not least TIMELINESS.
you see, once you are in a group you have a very limited time to prove your social skill. if others learn you have none, then you have lost all oportunity to prove you ever will. one of my coworkers transfered jobs because he screwed up his social skill. he had plenty, but he wasn't very timele with it.
so.. to hone a social skill
BE FAST [don't wait for them to learn otherwise]
BE FUN [everyone likes to be around someone fun]
ok.. my 2 cents. I'm at tims a social failure so they may not all be good tips.