Onion Eyes

Someone, I wont say who, told me that the reason onion vapors burn your eyes is because it turns to sulfiric acid in your eye. Now however unlikely I may think this is (the eye just has salt water in it, right?) I would like to make an onion -> sulfiric acid converter so I can turn my onions (with the addition of the now universally accepted TOXIC LEAD) into car batterys. if you run across a reaction that says this whole onion -> acid conversion is real post me a reaction! this goes nicely with my whole organic power mentality I have been feeling as of late.